its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
