He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
