just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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