and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
