So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize