We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
