I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My pussy is not your playground.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Someone signed my nipple.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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