I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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