dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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