he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
