My nipple is on Facebook.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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