I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
