I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
