i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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