How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You pole danced in your parka.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
