So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
