How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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