You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
