i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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