Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
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