K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
