It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
