I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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