For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Randomize
