Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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