Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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