But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
