The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
