Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
