i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
