you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
