wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
