Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I am available for nakedness
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
