Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
