Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
