I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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