Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
