just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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