If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
