hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize