His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize