roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize