i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
