He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
