so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
