My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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