It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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