whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
