After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
