so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
