PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
