hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i think i just lost a toe
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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