Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize