is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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