there was a trapeze. enough said
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
