"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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