her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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