She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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