Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i need some magic done to my vagina
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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