It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
