spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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