I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He keeps bees of course he's weird
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
