i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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